I often get calls or emails from people that believe their home is being haunted by something threatening and are, at the very least, nervous in their own home. Sometimes these people actually leave their own home out of fear. I received such a call this past week. So, I hopped in the car and went to check it out over the weekend.

I did, indeed, find several ghosts in their old home. Most of them were perfectly content where they were and were not causing any kind of disruption. Some of the energy was residual due to the age of the home and it’s history. Then I went upstairs.  There, I found those responsible for scaring the occupants of this home.

The Crying Woman

I was lead to a bedroom and immediately heard the crying of a woman coming from the closet area. I could feel her pain. This young woman was lost, confused, desperate and really seemed to have no idea what to do now that she found herself in the situation she was suddenly in. I knew she just needed a point in the right direction because she certainly didn’t want to be there. I sat down on the floor next to the closet and connected with her. She immediately moved to sit down next to me on the floor. She understood I was there to help her. It only took a few moments for her to find her way to those waiting for her on the Other Side. With gratitude, she moved on.

After talking to the owners of the home, they said that they had heard a woman crying upstairs from a closet. They suspected it was a family friend (that used to live in the house) that had recently died from a drug overdose. This made sense to me because of the feelings of desperation and confusion I felt coming from her. Sometimes when people die in a state of confusion, they stay that way while earthbound. While they were shaken by hearing the crying coming from their closet, obviously this woman was of no threat to the family. I really think she just didn’t know where else to go to find help.

The Frustrated Man

In another room on the second floor, I found a very different presence. This energy gave me a headache upon entering the room. This was a man exuding frustration. He also seemed quite confused. His confusion was causing him to be angry and to do what he could to get the attention of the occupants in his house. I believe this man lived there at one time and simply didn’t understand that his family has been long gone from the house. I sat down to connect with him and help him move along to where he should be. He clearly didn’t trust me (he seemed a bit chauvinistic, to be honest). After a while of attempting to make him understand, eventually, a woman (I’m assuming his wife) and a dog showed up to help him to the Other Side. When he recognized them, he moved along easily.

After I finally completed the task at hand, I discussed this entity with the owners. They had been woken up at night with a strong male voice shouting “Hey!”, among other attention getting activities. When I explained his situation, they seemed less fearful.

Often, behavior of those that are earthbound is misunderstood. Living people feel as though they are being  threatened, or are just fearful of the unknown. Neither of these ghosts meant any harm to anyone. They just needed someone to understand their situations and help them move on. Which seems to be the case more often than not.

A few weeks ago, I was contacted by a local paranormal research team about me being of assistance with a case they had in their schedule. This particular case involved a scared young girl, so how could I say no?

I showed up for the preliminary interview and walk through of the home. I immediately picked up a spirit, but one that seemed to be suspicious of us and wasn’t forthcoming with any information. But between that, and seeing how exhausted this family appeared to be, I knew a full investigation was in order.

What I really appreciated about this family was that they weren’t just angry and wanting to boot this spirit out, even though it was clearly causing them grief. They wanted more information and wanted more than anything to understand and help whoever was visiting them.

So we set up a time to launch the full scale investigation.

Before I left the house, I told this spirit why we were there, that we would be coming back and proposed a deal. I told her that this family was scared by her antics and they needed some rest. So, if she would let up for a few nights, I promised I’d be back to help her get where she needed to go.

A couple of days later, we heard from the family that things had been quiet since we left. She was holding up her end of the bargain, so I was going to fulfill mine. Truth is, I would have regardless.

When we returned, I sensed a girl about the same age as the daughter in this family. The spirit was clearly confused and frantic about the strangers (mostly men, and she was very leery of men) running wires and setting up cameras in the house. I did my best to calm her down and explain what everyone was doing. And that I still intended to hold up my part of the arrangement, but the family and the team just wanted to communicate with her a little before she left. That now was the time to say what she wanted to say. Her energy changed immediately. She still wouldn’t provide me any information about where she came from, who she was or why she attached to this family. All I could gather was that she was from the 1800′s and felt some sort connection with the young girl in this family. She was earthbound and really just didn’t know where to go. I suspect she had been wandering for quite some time looking for someone to help her.

We did the standard investigation stuff. Sweeps with the EMF detectors, temperature readings, EVP sessions, etc. Then it was time to help this girl move on. I felt it was best for just me and the daughter to do this. Besides wanting to facilitate peace for this spirit, I wanted to do this for this living girl as well. She was very tuned into the energy of this spirit and I wanted her to feel the shift in the home when she left. This way, she didn’t just have to take my word for it.

We sat together in her bedroom and connected to the spirit. She had many people on The Other Side who came to assist her with her journey forward. After she left, we walked through each room of the house together. It was so great to see her smile and say it felt like a “normal” house again. Her relief came from having someone validate her experiences and knowing the spirit bothering her was now where she needed to be and no longer wandering aimlessly and suffering.

I have my own thoughts on this and it doesn’t necessarily match up with a lot of other opinions on this matter. I believe free will doesn’t end when your body does, therefore, the answer has to be – no – you cannot force them to leave. You can assist them in finding their way to the Other Side. You can ask them to leave. You can even demand that they leave. And in a lot cases, they will. Most of the time, they simply don’t understand that they are scaring you or are unwelcome. Maybe they used to live in the house you occupy now. As far as they know, they are just staying home. They may not realize that it is your house now. In some cases, once this is explained to them, they will go.

But there are those who will refuse to go for whatever set of reasons.

I believe you must meet ghosts where they are. As I’ve said before, they are just people without bodies. Just because you’re Catholic, doesn’t mean they are. Maybe the ghost you’re sharing space with was Jewish in his lifetime. Catholic rituals are going to mean little to them. Demanding they leave in “Jesus’ name” is pretty much going to do nothing. They have their own belief structure and may not ascribe to yours. I’m guessing in cultures where the predominant religion is say, Buddhism, they aren’t bringing in a Catholic priest to rid their houses of unwanted ethereal guests. This would explain why I hear from people who say, “Our priest came out and tried to get rid of them, but it didn’t work!“. Or why people will ask me from time to time why it works sometimes and other times it doesn’t.

In my relationships with my friends, I leave religion out of it. I treat ghosts the same way. I prefer to take a less religious approach, and more of a human one. There are common grounds for every human and if it’s approached this way, your chances of successfully moving the ghost on to better things than haunting your house are more likely.

Instead of having the attitude of forcing them to do something, try coming from a place of assisting them in finding the peace they will benefit from more than the lonely existence they are currently experiencing.

I hear so many people answer this question with “no“. Unfortunately, this is incorrect. I have personally been pushed, kicked, pinched, etc. Some events have left visible marks on my skin. I’ve also witnessed this happen to other people…so the answer to this question is “yes“.

But you can protect yourself.

The important thing to remember here is that fear is like a giant battery to entities. Fear sends out a useable power source. If those intending harm are fed more energy, then their power gets greater. So, as hard as it is sometimes, release the fear and know that you have control over what can and can’t access you. Protect yourself with white light visualizations. Send out intentions of only good permeating your space and you only sending good out. Fear is not a positive energy to send out. Let fear go and have the mindset of certainty when protecting yourself.

Remember that these are just suffering people. Be compassionate, but also lay down clear boundaries about what is and is not acceptable behavior. Assist them on moving on if you can. If they want to stay, make it clear that they are only welcome if they can adhere to the acceptable behavior guidelines.

I hear stories from people all the time that are scared and confused as to why ghosts are trying to scare them. The thing is, most of the time they aren’t trying to scare you, just gain your attention. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are the more nasty ones that are indeed, intending to scare you for their own amusement. And I still look at these with the same level of compassion.

Why compassion?

Imagine one day no one could hear or see you anymore. You’re still you (without the body), and still aware of everything around you, but no matter how hard you scream or jump up and down waving your arms, no one will respond. The only way to get a response is to hurl a dish across the room.

I imagine this is an extremely lonely and frustrating existence. I would probably do anything I could to gain attention as well. Wouldn’t you? When I think about it from this point of view, I suddenly want to do all I can to ease this suffering. The fear is replaced with compassion, no matter how annoyed or frightened I initially was. I acknowledge them, and open myself up to communicate so they know they are heard. Most of the time, this is enough to stop the obnoxious behaviors. But this doesn’t solve the dilemma for those who are stuck or lost. Some of these troubled souls are just looking for help to find a way to move on. In this case, I take it a step further and help them find their way.

Anyone can do this. If you’d like more information on how to help them, I recommend either (or both) of these books:

Both of these books give clear and easy to understand instructions for those wishing to help ghosts move on.

This is a question I am frequently asked. There is not just one answer to this question, because like living people, each ghost has it’s own unique personality and set of reasons for being here. The reasons why they get stuck, lost or choose to stay behind are completely dependent on the person and set of circumstances.

Sometimes they choose to stay because they are happy where they are and want to stay close to those they love. Not every ghost I’ve come across is stuck, suffering and wanting to leave. Some are completely aware of what’s happened to them, the state they are in, and choose to accept it and be content with the situation. They understand they are free to go at any time. Most of these ghosts are not the ones launching dishes in you kitchen, turning on and off lights or making loud noises. They aren’t attempting to get your attention out of frustration. They may try to make you aware of their presence from time to time in subtle ways. But usually just to let you know they are still close and watching over you.

Others are still here because they are confused and are unaware of what has happened to them. Let’s say someone dies instantly in a tragic accident or other quick event. Or maybe they died when under the influence of recreational drugs or anesthesia and not in a state of clear awareness, thus unable to process appropriately. When it happens fast and before they have a chance to process what has taken place, they may stay in that state of confusion wondering what happened and why no one can see or hear them anymore. This can cause great suffering for this soul, thus generating behaviors that seem scary to the living. These ghosts generally need guidance and assistance in moving on.

The majority of the ghosts I’ve encountered, though, are staying behind due to fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of judgment. Perhaps this person made some bad choices in their lifetime. Religion generally uses scare tactics to keep the general public in-line. People that may not have walked that line, may suddenly fear that Judgment Day (that isn’t going to happen, by the way). These earthbound spirits are the ones who need the most assistance. They don’t always just need a point in the right direction to move on. I generally have to call in the spirits from the Other Side that they know and trust to help guide them home.

Much like in life, each person, bodied or not, chooses their behaviors and circumstances. Free will doesn’t end when the body does. So each ghost has it’s own set of reasons for sticking around. The important thing is to approach each one with compassion. Put yourself in their shoes for a moment. Be willing to help, even if their attention seeking actions appear to be ill intended.

On Halloween weekend I participated in the annual “Stake Out” with The Spirits of La Grange Ghost Tours. On the agenda was our oldest cemetery here in town.

In my experience, ghosts don’t usually lurk about the graves that hold their remains. If you go to visit a loved one’s grave, they may show up, but will leave when the visit is over.

This particular visit was a little different, however.

I rode along to the cemetery with the first group of investigators and a fellow psychic. After we skulked about the cemetery awhile, I felt pulled to a specific area and followed the pull alone.

Soon, I realized there was a man at the end of the path I was taking. His sadness came through clearly. The closer I moved toward him, the sadder I became on his behalf. I was able to gather more information from him as I walked in his direction.

He was waiting. And had been for a very long time.

It wasn’t long before I knew he was waiting for his wife. He refused to cross over without her. Perhaps he had made a promise to her he had intended to keep.

The only thing I could think to do to help this man was to call his wife in to take him to the Other Side with her. As I was calling her in, some of the group began heading my way. Within a few minutes, my fellow psychic approached and said to me, “I’m not sure what you’re picking up, but there’s a man and his wife here now.”

She heard my call and came to get her husband.

Over the next few minutes, I felt the sadness lift and they moved on together.

I’m not sure who he was or just how long he’d been waiting there, but he waited long enough…

I know I probably seem a little over-excited lately…well, because I am! The film is finally released for sale. I am the psychic-medium featured in the film, so of course I’m excited about the release! Go grab a copy and then please let me know what you think of it!

Over a year in the making, ‘The Spirits of Bourbon Country’ is available! A must-see documentary on the ghosts of Bardstown, KY featuring world renowned ghost hunter Patti Starr, psychic medium Jamie Best and paranormal investigator and film maker Chris McGill.

Special thanks to Drew Cook, AlohaTikiDesign, Webichanga & Farley & The Upside-Down Tiki Men.

$19.99

*please note there will be shipping charges calculated upon checkout with PayPal of $4.00

**6.0% sales tax will apply for Kentucky residents

You may also enjoy Waverly Hills: The True Story

Or take advantage of our limited time Set Special!!

Get them both for $29.99!

I’m crazy excited and I want to tell you why! I will be at The Scarefest again this year! Except this time I will be at a booth with our film crew all three days. I’ve pretty much been counting down the days to Scarefest 2010 since I left last year’s event. It was amazing! What is Scarefest?

The ScareFest Con is the Largest Horror and Paranormal Convention in the USA where you will be able to experience three horror- filled- days in November 5th, 6th, 7th at the Lexington Center in Lexington, Kentucky one of the largest convention centers in the state with an abundance of parking on site. Come and meet your favorite celebrities in the horror and paranormal community. ~TheScarefest.com

In case that doesn’t sum it up for you, here’s a little highlights video from last year:

If you can make it out to the convention, make sure to swing by our booth and say hi! We’ll have copies of Waverly Hills: The True Story and the new The Spirits of Bourbon Country available.

Here’s some cool links with info about this year’s event:

Horror Guests

Paranormal Celebrities

Get Tickets!